How to be a jerk to women and harass them online (pov of a misogynist)
Hey, ya’ll. I’m a misogynist and I absolutely love harassing women on social media (and outside of it too but shhh)! Some refer to me as the scum of the internet. It has actually become my life goal to make the internet an unsafe space for women. You see, limiting violence only to the physical world didn’t quite satisfy me. So I dedicate a lot of time and effort to extending this violence virtually. It gives a lot of pleasure to know that there are other asshats like me lurking on many social media platforms. Today, I want to give you some tips on how to harass women online and be a jerk so that you too can be accepted among our kind and be called an alpha male. Brace yourselves. This is going to be a long one.
1. Always be anonymous. Always.
Tip number 1 is the most important part of being who you want to be. The greatest gift that the internet has bestowed upon us is our anonymity. It has provided us with the opportunity to pass our sexism online. AND WITHOUT ANY CONSEQUENCES! Can it get any better? Take advantage of this anonymity. Just in case you can’t stay completely anonymous, use an alternate account. Or accounts with no profile picture. Profile pictures with images of a dying meme or Elon Musk are acceptable as well.
2. Elon Musk is our God.
Here, we worship him. Elon Musk is our Jesus. We blindly follow whatever he says or does.
Don’t forget to look up to Ben Shapiro, Donald Trump, and Andrew Tate among others as well.
3. Try to divert the attention away from any issues that concern women you can find online.
Did you come across a post where a woman says she’s tired of being catcalled by a bunch of men every day? Urgh. Such hormonal, weak creatures. Can’t even handle being harassed! In this type of situation, say “There are thousands of women who have it worse. Just be thankful you weren’t raped.”
Did someone post a picture of themselves saying that they’ve finally learned to be comfortable in their own skin? Bully them, amigos. Point out that there are other important issues and don’t forget to use the term “attention whore”. Once you do this, you’re one of us.
When they complain about the injustices they face every day, be sure to jump in on the conversation real quick and mansplain them about “the real feminism”.
4. Feminists? We hate them.
My alpha brothers, we can tolerate anything. We can even excuse animal cruelty. But these feminists are someone that we absolutely cannot stand. Every time we see these disgusting attention seekers, we have to annihilate them. For us, the F word is an insult towards women who freely express themselves. These feminists advocate for equal rights! How are we going to be openly sexist and homophobic? Being sexist is our personality trait and we will not allow these feminists to take it away from us.
5. Make a comment about their weight. Or color. Or any other physical trait. Or her dress. Or makeup. About anything really.
As some of society’s greatest POS, we should always be ready to harass women based on their physical traits. See that celebrity post a photo showing some skin? The Celebrity comment section is a great space to show off your disgusting personality. Call her “fat”. Call her ugly. Or any variations of it. Make horrible comments about her personal life. Don’t forget to use emojis so that you can later defend yourself and tell people that “women can’t even take jokes.” Make it your life’s goal to make women feel guilty about self-acceptance.
6. Don’t underestimate the power of whataboutism.
When women online say they get harassed and abused, always say “What about men? They get abused too. Why don’t you talk about it?” Between us though, we don’t really care about men’s issues. We will never try to raise awareness about it until a woman complains about the abuse she faces. It makes a great counter-argument to discredit a woman’s experience. And you are going to sound like a total jerk!
7. Make fun of men who respect women.
If you know a guy who treats women like actual humans and not an object, don’t hesitate to call him a simp. You are also free to use other insults like the g word. It’s hilarious. We will totally be projecting our insecurities at them and mask them as a joke. No one will ever know that our masculinity is always threatened by these men.
8. Making fun of the LGBTQIA+ community is funny.
Umm, do I even need to elaborate on that?
9. Try to play the nice guy part.
This one is for all my closeted misogynist homies out there. If you are scared to be openly sexist, be a nice guy first. Try to convince a woman that you are not like other men. And then guilt-trip her. She now owes you for showing basic human decency towards her. If she rejects you, don’t be afraid to slut shame her.
10. Send her a d*ck pic.
Straight entry to the hall of fame with this one. No woman likes seeing your unsolicited junk pic. But you’re going to send her one anyway because we are massive jerks. Hah!
11. Constantly remind women of their place.
It is our job as shitty, smelly, unevolved creatures to let women know that they should always be reminded of their place. They need to always cover themselves until…you know, we want them uncovered. Tell her to go make you a sandwich. Remind them that they belong in the kitchen. That’ll show them.
12. Don’t hesitate to freestyle.
Want to call a woman who is sex-positive, a slut? GO for it. Stalk women online. Look for photos where her body parts are showing and make disgusting comments about it. Share her intimate pictures with your friends. Pass it on. Try to look for anything that will justify you harassing her online. Feel free to freestyle as long as it counts as harassment. My fellow misogynists will support you until the end of time.